kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
