Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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