I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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