How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
