I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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