VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
