i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
