hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
