It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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