he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
All I want is dick and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize