it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
