so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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