good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
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It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
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Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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