so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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