Sponge bath it is.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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