And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize