I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
