I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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