The maid of honor just puked.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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