i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
