Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there

(217): View more from Illinois

Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is

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(708): I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there (217): Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is http://tfl.nu/zrn8

Replies (2) Good night (1363) Bad night (562)
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(404): View more from Georgia

the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...

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(404): the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick... http://tfl.nu/wq21

Replies (6) Good night (3366) Bad night (843)
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(407): View more from Florida

He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards

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(407): He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards http://tfl.nu/ieco

Replies (24) Good night (1274) Bad night (4185)
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(706): View more from Georgia

We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.

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(706): We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust. http://tfl.nu/qt9y

Replies (6) Good night (2773) Bad night (998)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.

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(724): look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means. http://tfl.nu/mq55

Replies (10) Good night (3521) Bad night (1221)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night

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(609): Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night http://tfl.nu/7184

Replies (17) Good night (5270) Bad night (1315)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.

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(306): My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday. http://tfl.nu/tgen

Replies (2) Good night (2188) Bad night (2186)
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(925): View more from California

Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.

(1-925): View more from California

If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.

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(925): Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often. (1-925): If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough. http://tfl.nu/t59l

Replies (1) Good night (1666) Bad night (850)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night

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(630): I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night http://tfl.nu/4uc3

Replies (8) Good night (1377) Bad night (744)
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(512): View more from Texas

He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.

(713): View more from Texas

Yeah you should have just let that thought go.

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(512): He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay. (713): Yeah you should have just let that thought go. http://tfl.nu/ru9t

Replies (4) Good night (1170) Bad night (788)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?

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(832): I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going? http://tfl.nu/o7kr

Replies (8) Good night (1233) Bad night (820)
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(406): View more from Montana

She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.

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(406): She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony. http://tfl.nu/xx47

Replies (3) Good night (665) Bad night (389)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.

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(508): just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing. http://tfl.nu/syuf

Replies (3) Good night (446) Bad night (748)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom

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(734): Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom http://tfl.nu/vsfc

Replies (3) Good night (809) Bad night (292)
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(585): View more from New York

this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile

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(585): this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile http://tfl.nu/57e7

Replies (0) Good night (752) Bad night (337)

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