Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize