It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
