We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
