A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
