Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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