I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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