please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
