Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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