we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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