She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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