who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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