....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize