i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize