you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
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