I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
