She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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