Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
that's an acceptable place to lick
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
