I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
