plz talk dirty to me
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
