Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
