I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
