I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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