google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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