Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
