I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
