is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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