I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
