it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
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I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.