i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
