I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We need to get me chipped asap
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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