Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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