Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
