I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
