A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
