That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
