I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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