i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands