We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
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I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
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Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.