Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
