kristin has been a bad kristin
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
