i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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