Small penises have feelings too.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
