I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
