its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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