I just cut my nipple shaving
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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